Falling a thousand feet per second,

I don’t think anybody is reading this but,

I am posting this to just let everything out, and here it goes! Today was awesome, well the beginning really was pretty normal and not too great until I had you and him with me, and we were together and it was a wonderful bliss. I just hate how you both make me so happy, my best friend who I like and my other best friend who I like a little less. It is so messy. And then I have a friend who won’t open up, she really isn’t okay, but she has nobody, I left her, all alone- well it seems that way, and since she won’t open up, what can i do? And then, there is another one, who is also left alone, metaphorically and emotionally, I hate it because I know both friends need someone, but this one had her own doings mess things up, not mine, so what can I say? She pushed me away, not the other way around. And then, there is whole deal of missing my best friend. But that would just make me cry if I were to type it out. And him, I can’t even begin. But lastly, today, with us, with basically only us, I realized what you are the one I want. I saw why I am not letting go, and I saw me being happy with you once again, that spark is still not gone. But sadly, you are no longer the most important thing in my life, and nor is my lost best friend- right now, I have no focus and nothing to really focus my thoughts on because there is too much that I could think about and at this point, basically any of them could put me to tears. So, I just. Can’t.